The Hardships

The grown up - what do you think about it? It is you in the age of twenties? It is you who's now employed and earn money on your own? It is you who's succeed at school? 

I should be more than joyful to declare that recently I experience how I am growing in Him. It's not painless to be truthful about what's happened lately in many aspects. Along my life trip, I have never been set up in a continuous problems. And when I say "problems", it is not a simple matter like what I faced in high school. I feel numb, I see the death in my heart, and a giant rock right on my face. I feel the hardest times to pray and enjoy His presence. It's all about the absence of goodness. 

When I pray, I'am wordless. One thing on my mind "where are You?"

I can't tell you in a specific way what is it. Nevertheless, I will share you what values I get. It is so difficult to thank, smile, and pretend the misery in my heart. Lucky me to have persons in life, one to mention, my boyfriend, who can bring me this far. I thank God that He points him to me and delivers His kindness through such a figure. He is the one who is willing to devote his patience in a whole to remind me whenever I fell down. 

I reach the point when I could take a deep breathe, finally communicate it with Lord Jesus, and practice the way Mother Teresa prays, which is quiet and peaceful. This is the way to give space for God to be listened. It works well indeed, this is very effective for you who have bunch problems that you, yourself, are not able to share it anymore. You just need to be quiet, stop telling Him what you want to share and listen His whisper. It will avoid you to be overly overwhelmed in your gloom. Try :)

I realize this hardships is nothing than the right time He's molding me to be what He wants me to be. So, why give up? When I know He is not done yet. 

It is a revealing perspective when God wants me to own greater and higher level in my Christianity. He entrusts me this "GIANT" for He knows I can deal with it. This is on my capacity, this is a special chance! 

Phil 4 : 11-12 "I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want."

I can't wait to share you His blessing once I'm succeed passing this one. Have faith :)